MEMORY RELAPSE - Kenute P. Curry

MEMORY RELAPSE

Kenute P. Curry

Memory Relapse.

What do those two words mean?

Usually, it is a relapse of forgotten memories.

Oh, but not this time.

This was a different kind of Memory Relapse.

This was a relapse of “Memories Returning.”

Strong.

Stronger than ever before.

From the past.

Memories of moments: moments of love, compassion, care, and laughing serenity.

Dreams lost, tears shed, but remembered.

Come to me Exuma, once again.

Intertwined in the deepness of your mind, with your heart and soul.

Dreaming moments.

Those kinds of moments when you have goals set and things planned out for just the two of you.

And we did it together.

Then everything falls to pieces and your hopes are lost.

It all ends with emotion, tears, and a lot of things said  that you wish you could take back.

This memory Relapse came in full force at me.

When memories hit you as strong as this, it is overwhelming.

Good memories: on the beach, off in the boat, tending to the garden.

Nights strolls where your cares blow away.

Then, here it comes….

The missing that no one understands, but you and God.

The wish that you could see them just one more time.

No one can understand that, but you and God.

Tears….tears….tears….sobs….sobs….

Anxiety hits and throws you into another tailspin.

Then, the wondering: the wondering if you will ever see them again.

Have I ever had this happen to me before?

Oh yeah. Just once.

I thought it would never happen to me again.

But, here we are again, and it is overwhelming.

Emotions scattered….

Songs remembered….

Anxiety attacks….

Then you wonder….

Are they okay?

I wonder what they are doing now.

Is everything alright with them?

This Memory Relapse is no joke at all.

It is of the worst kind.

Memories do not go away.

You get to a point where God helps you deal with them.

And for whatever reason He has allowed this to happen again, I have to trust Him.

Through the anxious days….

Through the sleepless nights….

Just me and God alone.

I have to believe that there is a reason and a purpose for this.

And that God will be glorified through this.

Holding on tight to His hand.

Believing in Him by faith, without doubting.

Trusting….trusting….trusting….

He is my “Best Friend.”

Saturday, April 13^th 2019 – 8:10 pm.

© Kenute P. Curry. All rights reserved.